Quick answer: Comparing your everyday life to other people's online highlights is linked to more depressive symptoms and lower self-esteem. Research finds this "upward comparison" is one way social media use connects to low mood. To protect yourself: notice when scrolling makes you feel worse, mute or limit triggering accounts, compare yourself only with your own past, set one small goal, and talk to someone if feeling stuck turns into hopelessness.

"We had the same opportunities"

You open Facebook, Instagram or TikTok and see a former classmate graduating as a doctor, launching a business or travelling abroad. You sat in the same classroom and had the same chances. Yet your life looks stuck by comparison, perhaps because of early marriage, money, illness or choices you now regret.

That gap can be deeply painful. Many people respond by pulling back. They stop going out, avoid old friends, skip associations and events, and miss the very information and connections that could help them move forward.

It helps to remember that what you see online is a highlight reel, not anyone's whole life.

What the research says

  • Meta-analyses consistently find a positive link between social media use and depressive symptoms (Le Blanc-Brillon et al., Frontiers in Psychology, 2025).
  • That same study found that exposure to "upward comparisons" partly explains why heavy use is linked to lower self-esteem and more depressive symptoms.
  • A well-known study titled Seeing everyone else's highlight reels found that comparing yourself with peers on Facebook helped explain the link between time on Facebook and depressive symptoms (Steers et al., 2014).
  • A systematic review found envy and social comparison on social networking sites connect with depression in both directions: comparison can worsen low mood, and people who are already depressed may compare more (Carraturo et al., 2023).

Why "feeling stuck" is so painful

The deepest pain is often not envy. It is knowing you have more to give but feeling unable to give it. Feeling trapped is a recognised warning sign for suicidal thinking. If you feel there is no way out of your situation, treat that feeling as a signal to get support, not as the truth.

Practical ways to break the comparison cycle

  1. Check your mood after scrolling. If you feel worse, that is information. Close the app.
  2. Curate your feed. Mute accounts that leave you feeling small. Follow people who share real struggles and practical help.
  3. Set time limits. Use your phone's screen-time tools, especially at night, when hard thoughts tend to be strongest.
  4. Compare with your past self only. Track your own progress from where you started.
  5. Choose one small next step. A short course, a library visit, an application, a phone call.
  6. Reconnect offline. Join one group, fellowship, reading club or association.
  7. Use social media for support. Follow mental health organisations such as @gasp_official and creators who share recovery stories.

Frequently asked questions

Can social media cause depression? Research shows a link, especially when use involves comparing yourself with others. It is rarely the only cause, but it can make low mood worse.

How do I stop comparing myself to my classmates? Remember you are seeing highlights, not whole lives. Limit triggering content, track your own progress and focus on one achievable goal.

What should I do if I feel stuck in life? Talk to someone, break your goal into small steps, and look for learning or work opportunities. If feeling stuck turns into hopelessness, call 0800 678 678.

Is it okay to take a break from social media? Yes. Breaks, limits and muting accounts are healthy ways to protect your mental health.

Sources: Le Blanc-Brillon et al., Frontiers in Psychology (2025) · Steers et al., Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology (2014) · Carraturo et al., systematic review (2023)